Great start

I slept last night through the whole night in over a week. All thanks to 150 mg of Benedryl. I am feeling well over all. I did go out to Hoedowns this Saturday night to hang out with some friends of mine. Didn't do anything to over exert myself...While there I met a charming Yankee lad. He thinks I am a really good two-stepper. He told me that he wanted to learn and so I offered lessons. Yesterday evening I went over to his hotel room and spent about 5 hours or so with him. Yesterday MORNING I had an engagement at Peachtree Road United Methodist Church about how Atlanta Interfaith AIDS Network (Common Ground) helps me and how I deal with all of my illnesses on a spiritual plane. Having to come out about my HIV status to middle-aged women (majority of the area in which I was speaking) was difficult. Only because most of them remember when it was "The Gay Cancer", and still hold that judgement. The relief was that it appeared that they didn't. PHEW. So today is Monday the last day of the month and I am looking forward to a good week. I may or may not write more today. But I will definetly write tomorrow because it's therapy day.

New level?

Yesterday was a rather busy day. My friend whom I went to get tested with was negative :) Many thanks and blessings for that. Afterward we went to a celebratory lunch at Cowtippers (I had already eaten lunch at Common Ground however). I am about to my end with sickness. I've really not slept through the night in a week, I constantly itch, and now I think I am getting a cold. I found myself in bed this morning (around 4:30) not necessarily bargining but just asking the gods when this test ended. Somewhere something has to give. I know that sickness comes with this virus but there are PLENTY of HIV positive people that aren't as sick as I am. I have a follow up Physican's Assistant (yee fucking haw) appointment this afternoon at 3:00. We will see what she says un-enlightning today. Today I have a parent/teacher conference at 8:00 AM, then my usual daily ordeal, Common Ground, instead of coming home I am going to meet a friend for lunch, and then I am coming home. I am supposed to be having a movie weekend with a group of friends but not really sure how that is going to work since I have such a busy schedule this weekend. Tomorrow I signed up for an "intimacy, Relationships, and Sex" workshop with Positive Impact (which starts at 9:00), and then Sunday I am going to a "mega-church" to represent Common Ground (of which I am really excited). I guess the only thing that comes to mind now is..."Get busy living or get busy dying."

I almost forgot to tell you about my dream...I couldn't leave without doing that now could I?!? Yesterday I dreamed that I had documentation about a man that was trying to turn England into an Axis of Evil (like I give a shit...). Anyway I walk into Parliment and ask her royal majesty if I could address them (it was her and like a United Nations Council). She agreed. While I was waiting my turn they finished business and then dismissed. As they were leaving the chamber I asked "Your majesty I really need to address this issue with you, it is of upmost importance." They all took their seats again. I began speaking and she was INFURATED that I was implicating this man. She issues a royal order to have me BEHEADED (bitch see if I help your country again). Someone from the council says perhaps we should listen to him. So they listen to me and alas I save the country and am knighted Sir James McLarty.

Hugs,
James

Good day!

Today has been an awesome day. The rash is still all over my body and spreading. Thankfully not as fast. The steroids have really helped the comfort level. My energy has been off the chain today. I woke up at 9:30 took my meds then went back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 1:30....yeah I know apparently I needed the rest. I have done laundry, cooked dinner, washed dishes, ironed clothes and still have energy to write this :) Tomorrow I am going with one of my friends to get an HIV test, he is kind of concerned so everyone keep happy thoughts for him. I did have a rather odd dream last night. One of my "sisters" happened to be a famous drag queen here in Atlanta (Bubba D'licious) and my friend passed away and it was a big thing. I wish I had wrote earlier when I remembered more of the details but alas just take my word that it was wierd. Write tomorrow.

So this is hell....

My friends will normally tell you that I really don't complain a lot. I take things in stride and just accept things as they are. My philophsy in life is why complain about something I can't change. Makes sense to me. However in therapy I have been learning that there are times when it is more than alright to say something just really, really sucks. NOW is one of those times. This rash that I have had just continues to get worse. It is blistering. I called the Infectious Disease clinic this morning. They of course told me to come in. I arrived around 8:00 AM and finally got to see the physicans assistant around 9:45. Upon her reuqest I disrobed. The first thing she said is..."Thats a pretty agressive rash you have going on." Well I couldn't help but to look at her and say, "No shit." When I call and tell them I have an aggressive rash I really don't think it imperative to repeat my findings...especially when it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious. The question of the hour was is this a Sustiva induced rash? Not according to the PA. So you can totally understand my confusion when she instructed me to stop my meds. When questioned about why I should stop something that I am not having side effects with she never really gave me a straight answer. So I told her unless she could tell me why I needed to stop then I would continue to take them as scheduled. She never told me why so continue I shall. Her answer was to increase my steroid intake for three days. My answer is to simply find out why I have hives and blisters all over my body and WHY it has spread so aggressively over the past 48 hours. Makes sense to me. Anyway, I will continue my benedryl, steroids and HIV meds for now. I have a followup appointment on Friday, truthfully I don't think that the rash plans on waiting that long. I however, you keep you updated as things become known.

Hugs

A different view

I apologize for not writing yesterday. I had a small coronary episode around 12:30 AM on Sunday as was taken to the hospital. I was there until late yesterday for observation and such. My activity level is as tolerated. However, my doctors warned no more two-stepping for a few months. Which in an essense really kills me simply because that is really the only social outlet that I have. So I guess I will have to find others. Don't really feel bad today just really tired and EXTREMELY sore. I have this really odd rash breaking out all over my face and neck. I am going to give it a few days to go away before I do anything about it. Still haven't got my updated lab results...sorry :(

Hugs,
James

Tomorrow is only a day a way

Well today was an interesting day. Yesterday I hung out with a good friend of mine. We did coffee, went to dinner and had ice cream. Came back to my house to chill and then went to Hoedowns. I tell ya what. As a person who can drink most anyone under the table I feel plum ashamed of myself. I had ONE drink last night and I was wasted. I did my second set of line dances and I told my friend Jason that we had to go. Today has been a very uneventful day. I have slept most of it. I am experiencing some serious fatigue, and tummy aches even on the pain meds. When I was discharged from the hospital they sent me home with Vicodin and today it just has not really been doing a good job. I will have to talk to my doctors next week to see whats going on. But still alive and somewhat active. I really would like to go out but understand that probably isnt a good idea. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!

A New Day

Yesterday I had to go for testing due to severe tummy pains. I checked in at 11:00 AM and waited and waited and waited. At 2:30 I called my doctor only to find out that she had already called once and faxed the order to have me seen immediately. So I lay there until 4:00 and I finally went upstairs to her office to see if she couldn't come down and expedite things. Of course she already left for the day. However, her office still sent me directly to radiology (which should have been done at 2:00). No more gallstones...YAH!!!!! But I do have a fat liver. So I have to go back in this morning to find out what they are going to do about it. The hospital finally discharged me at 9:40 last night. They wanted me to stay until 4:00AM because they were going to give me morphine and sodium chloride but didn't think it wise to keep me just one more day...makes ya scratch your head doesn't it? So after the long ordeal yesterday I was finally able to come home and go to bed and begin today. So far no other noticiable side effects. They are thinking that my tummy pain is caused by my meds perhaps making my liver fat. If that is indeed the case then we may have to switch them up :( Post more when I know!

Hugs,
James

Eh...

Good morning all,

Last night was kind of sketchy. I awoke sometime in the 1 o'clock hour having to use the restroom rather quickly. In addition to that I was experiencing some localized night sweating in my chest region. Kind of odd really, I have never just had a night sweat in one location. Don't get me wrong, I by no MEANS am complaning. I was able to crawl back into bed without having to actually change the sheets. This morning I feel kind of loopy. I don't really feel that my concentration is solid. My memory is noticibly (per roommates) to be affected (as if I needed help with that anyway LOL). I went to the laundry room looking for laundry that I never started, but thought I did. All of this was to be expected and again I am just grateful that I am not experiencing what most others do when they start their meds. Today is a good day because I did wake up and I will continue to be glad in it :)

Hugs,
James

Ending the day...

I am about ready to close out the day. It's been awesome. I had my therapy session at Positive Impact today. Hung out for a while at ATI (AIDS Treatment Initative) and headed home. My energy level today has been through the roof. I am going to shower and take my Sustiva :) Hope everyone has had a good day!

WHA THE .........

I couldn't have asked for a better night last night. I took the Sustiva around 9:00. I sit there for a few minutes staring at it wondering if I really wanted to take it or not. Really kind of silly LOL. I took it. I got up showered, shaved, and came back to my room to work on some e-mails (with Law & Order going in the background). I started to feel really stupid. Kind of like ya feel when you know that you have just had to much to drink :) So I knew at that point (before I started going through my phonebook) that it was time for bed. I set the sleep timer on my t.v. and climbed into bed. I woke this morning at 6:30 without having the first night sweat, odd dream, or nausea experience. My belly was a little tender in the lower right side but nothing unbearable. Having eaten breakfast and such I decided that a small nap was in order so around 8:10 I started napping. Here is what I dreamed.....

Picture it:
Atlanta 2005. My friends and I are walking over an interstate overpass. When all of a sudden we see a LARGE lilitary chopper flying overhead. Within minutes after it passes over us it EXPLODES. We run into a convenient store, of course the person running it doesnt speak english and for some reason has no idea what just happened. So my first instinct is to pull my phone out and call my grandmother (who has been dead for 10 years now, but "alive" in my dream, although I never saw her or was able to talk to her). I don't really think I called anyone. I rather went home. I live about 1/4 of a mile from the interstate (in reality as well as in dream)I decide that I want to know whats going on so I go back up to the main road and EVERYONE is there. Apparently school was letting out around the same time because the busses were coming from the school. The only thing was the school busses were LONG, TALL, LIMO, HUMMERS, WITH MASSIVE TIRES.

That was that I woke up (9:30) and took my epivir and viread. Perhaps, it was a good thing I woke up so Bush couldn't draft me for the war. When I woke up it was a sense of relief because it all honesty it felt VERY VERY VERY real.

Since its a nice day and I feel good, I am going to the park. I hope all is having a good day.

Hugs

A New Adventure

As my title states today I started a new adventure. I started my HIV medications. When I was released from the hospital in January I was told that depending on my genotype I would more than likely be placed on Combivir and Sustiva. However, when I went in today they changed my cocktail, to Epivir, Viread, and Sustiva. I have taken the Epivir and Viread for the day and so far the only side effect I have experienced was sweat. The Sustiva allegedly causes vivid dreams so I was prescribed porn before I go to bed :) Right now I guess I only have a few concerns. Obviously I am hoping that I respond well to my treatment. My viral load as of January 26th was 439,000 and my T-cells were at 417. Today I had a new blood workup done and will have those results posted by the end of this week. Today at the doctor as well I found out that I am more than likely suffering from gallstones again. So in the up and coming year I am looking at four operations. One to remove part of my lower right lung (due to the infiltrate), lymphadectomy (removal of lymph nodes), spleen removal and then gallbladder removal. Once my viral load gets to an undetectable level then we will start scheduling the surgeries one by one. I will keep this updated as I discover new things .

Love,

James