Your mission should you choose to accept it...

I forgot to add this to the post earlier today so I will just create a new post. While at the pride festival I found a pamphlet that states why homosexuals are "dangerous" :) Special thanks to the Queer Progressive Agenda for this wonderful list.

10. We can end civilization as you know it.

9. We DO recruit (10% is not enough! Queer activists and allies are always needed)

8. We celebrate our bodies and our desires, and it's not a private choice.

7. We're not buying what you're selling, like sweatshop clothes, useless crap, and beer (we're not your niche market).

6. We're not just girls and boys. (Your gender binary system just doesn't fit all of us)

5. We're not all white.

4. We're not all rich (Granted some of us have more expendable income that others).

3. We threaten the marriage of Church and State.

2. We don't want to be "normal". (Assimilation is boring.)

1. We have better sex and more toys.

Proudfully yours,

James

Holy Homosexuals...

Well as many of you know tis the season of PRIDE. WHOHOOOOOOOO PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY. Alright truth be told this was my first pride completly sober. Shocker yes, sad ABSOLUTLY. This was also my first pride as an HIV positive person. As I walked around the park it was nice and affirming to see people walking around with a red ribbon attached to their shirt or skin. Mine is permenantly attached (via tattoo on my right ankle, see picture). No pride would be complete without the Jesus Freaks. You know the ones that march around carrying their signs that condemn us to hell. Usually I just walk by and smile because I know that they are nothing but idiots. However, this year the sign got all over me. Not a supernatural sign...the one that said "AIDS, Judgement or Cure." Having had friends that had HIV/AIDS the sign always bothered me but this...this year it was just too much. My over sensitivity kicked in and I started screaming comebacks. I wasn't the one that was screaming lewd things at him, mine were really just basic questions. I asked if he was here to do Gods work then why was he breaking one of the greatest commandments in the bible. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Also there is that one thing they keep forgetting that just flies over me. Judge not lest ye be judged also. I also pointed out that the highest HIV/AIDS cases were among heterosexuals that just happened to be of the African American persuasion. He informed me the reason for that was because "The Africans ate monkies and then they had queer sex." YEA RIGHT! That's the real reason. So through it all and at the cost of my voice, I made him look really stupid. Because in the end he proved that he knew ABSOLUTLY nothing. I think Jarred and I will visit their church :)

In other news Social Security came through. While they acknowledged the fact that I had HIV, Cancer, and I do have a tendecy to be extremely nervous at times they don't feel that should stop me from working in the same capacity that I did at once. You know a promise from the government means NOTHING. Don't think that I didn't give them a good what for when I got my denial letter. I cussed them out and told them that I was disappointed in their apparent lack of respect by making promises they cannot and did not keep. I am in the process of filing the appeal now. They did not even use all of the medical records that they were supposed to. BIG SHOCKER HUH. I am working very hard to get this done ASAP so that I can get all of these looming medical bills (totaling now about $46,000.00) off of my back. The stress is totally overbearing. I know that everything in the end will work out but until the light is a little brighter at the end of the tunnel then I will continue to worry just a bit.

Jarred and I are doing really well. Coming up on the big 4 in two weeks. Time has really flown by with him. He has continued to be supportive and loving and moreso this last week. I have been a little under the weather (hopefully it's just a cold), and this whole financial mess has really taken it's toll on me. It is really nice to have someone there to help when the going gets tough. I love you honey! :)

Well enough for now. I hope this finds everyone in the blogvironement doing well.
James' words of wisdom "Often times the road to success is under construction and full of dumbasses getting in your way."

What is the World coming to?!?

As a second year psychology/law student I like to think of myself as a some what higher educated individual. I like to think I know a lot about the world having lived it in and experienced quite a bit. Furthermore I like to think of myself as someone with a large sense of humor. I think my significant other, friends and family would agree to that. You the reader may be wondering where I am going with this, so here it is. When did HIV/AIDS become something that the general population laughs about and thinks is funny? Tonight Jarred and I sat down to watch Team America World Police and it showed a Broadway show actor (the show was entitled Lease) singing a song about everybody having AIDS. That pretty much did the movie in for me. Anything else I might have enjoyed in the movie was utterly destroyed by this one cold laugh that myself and 900,000 other United States citizens must endure every waking day of our life. Well as I was actually just starting to feel a little less uptight I was lying on the bed watching Family Guy (less than 15 minutes ago) and it showed a flashback (as the show likes to do) of Peter and a barbershop quartet going into a hospital room and singing to this guy that he has AIDS. "It's not HIV but full blown AIDS." As an HIV positive person who has to take around 15-20 pills daily, gets tired by walking up stairs, and has chronic stomach problems I just don't understand how anyone in America can find this amusing. I certainly would never wish this disease upon anyone but it would be ultimate self gratification for them to have to endure this for just ONE DAY. Let the creators of these programs and movies have to lay in a hospital bed for two weeks, endure a common cold for two months and put their life on hold because of illness. Has HIV/AIDS become the new politically correct thing to make fun of? Where was I when this memo was sent out?

For those who read this blog that I don't know personally you may be thinking...well he got HIV because he was reckless and didn't use protection. I want to clear the air with that right now. The person I was with used protection, however, condoms not being fool proof broke. At the time he did not know that he was positive due to the incubation period. I was a bit upset that it busted but knew that it happened and didn't think much about it, until I got the call with him telling me that he was positive.

Furthermore I can understand that we as a nation who is well off may have the urge to help other countries get on track. What I can't understand is why we are helping other countries secure HIV/AIDS meds when we cannot even secure meds for everyone in this country. For example say you want to get on Ryan White or the Drug Manufacturer's Patience Assistance Program you can only make $12,000.00 (give or take a few dollars) in order to qualify for assistance. If you make $12,001.00 then you cannot receive assistance. That means that there are a lot of people in this country who are not taking meds not because that don't want to but because our government is making them choose between meds, food and shelter.

Perhaps I am just being overly sensitive on this issue. However, I think with just cause. When we sit back and allow injustice then people can never see the truth. I just hope that the people that watch Family Guy and Team America and think AIDS is a laughing matter never have to endure the pain of watching someone they love or themselves die of this non-laughing disease.

James words of wisdom: He who laughs and partakes in others misfortune gets bit in ass hard.

Hugs and kisses,

James

Key West, Camping, and blah moods

I apologize for not having the rest of the Key West story for some reason when I try to cut and paste from Word is cuts out a lot and essentially I end up losing long blogs. For the rest of the story and where we went check Jarred's blog (http://spaces.msn.com/members/jarredfehr/).

This weekend we went camping with a group of people from Hoedowns. Jarred and I went last weekend and bought a tent condo. Complete with two rooms :) Although the "rooms" were basically see through, so we didn't set them up. Wayne and Clay (Jarred's friend) slept in the tent with us. They seem to hit it off fairly nicely. They both deserve someone nice. Rich and Craig our friends from Key West that live in Marietta also joined us on this trip. Weather was really shitty the first day but got really nice yesterday and today. Jarred, Rich, Craig and I contributed to the Cherokee Indian Reservation by playing at their lovely gaming station (meaning we went to the Harrah's Casino). We came out with a deficit but suffice it to say we had enough money to get back home.

So I came home today and have been in a really great mood. Clay and Wayne hung out here at the house and I cooked dinner for everyone. YAH! Then I came upstairs and read an update from aidsmeds.com and now I feel kind of icky. Having had friends die from AIDS related complications is really a difficult thing to have to watch. Reading about this new HIV infection and then the progression of HIV to AIDS has really got me a little on the depressed side. HIV/AIDS is regretfully not a fast illness. There are many stages and illnesses that one has to face before death in dealing with AIDS. There are times when I feel guilty and sad because I know that unless something unforeseen happens then it is going to be that dies and ends this wonderful relationship prematurely. However, I just remember that memories are formed regardless of the length of time that two people spend together. It is the bond that they share and feel with one another. I guess this is just one of the times that realization sets in for a brief moment and I realize what the end result of my life is going to be and I just dont like it.

On a side note I had an appointment on the 1st of this month. My first drug regimen has been deemed a failure. Three drugs are now taken out of future possibility. They are replacing the Sustiva with Reyataz and Norvir. The Truvada will remain a part of my daily routine.

Enough aching for today. Here is to good times, loved ones, and whatever the future may hold.

Hugs and love,

James