Just a quick note to update everyone on the current medical drama. I went today and had my bone scan done. The Nuclear Medicine doctor simply said "I am not pleased." When asked why he simply replied that my doctor would have his findings on his desk next week. So I am going to be sneaky and go to radiology records on Monday before I go see my infectious disease doctor and get the report so I know what in the hell it says.
I do want to make known that leukemia is just one of the possibilites that it could be. While I exhibit a lot of the symptoms such as englared spleen and liver, fatigue, weight loss...it is not a given. For example one of the most striking sign of leukemia is an abnormally high white blood cell count. Well I don't have that but I do have a high red blood cell count. There are plenty of other things it could be and only time will indeed tell.
A lot of people are wondering what leukemia is so I will give you a crash course in basic Leukemia 101.
Leukemia is a cancer that begins in blood cells. The abnormality occurs in the bone marrow (the soft material in the center of bones). Leukemia causes the bone marrow to produce abnormal white blood cells (typically). In time the abnormal cells "choke" out normal white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. There are several different kinds of leukemia but they all deal with bone marrow and in someway affect the lymphnatic system.
That is today's biology lesson. I will fill you in on Monday.
25 August 2006
22 August 2006
New News
One of my favorite quotes from the movie Sordid Lives is "I think I am going to explode at any minute if any more shit hits the fan today!" Although not on the verge of exploding I am on the verge of perhaps having to undergo some serious chemotherapy again. Let me explain...
Back in March I started experiencing pain in my tibia aka "shin". I had some x-rays taken and they all came back fine so the final diagnosis at the time was simply a shin splint. I went to my orthopedic doctor today who did some further x-rays and he noticed a slight difference in the x-ray taken in May and the one taken today. In my "bone matrix" (the bone itself) there are supposed to be two colors bright white which is the bone and then a little darker color in the middle of the bone which is where bone marrow is found. In my x-ray I had 3 colors. Right in the middle of my shin in the location where the bone marrow is located is a dark spot. This is often how leukemia is first detected. So this week I will go for a battery of tests to determine if this spot in my bone marrow is in fact cancer.
I know a lot has happened over the last couple of weeks so I thank all of my friends and family for being patient with me while I recollect my thoughts and start moving on again. I do ask that everyone who reads this blog to keep me in their thoughts and prayers until next week when I get the final results from Dr. Raines. Before then I go see my infectious disease doctor on Monday so I will post the results from her then.
Back in March I started experiencing pain in my tibia aka "shin". I had some x-rays taken and they all came back fine so the final diagnosis at the time was simply a shin splint. I went to my orthopedic doctor today who did some further x-rays and he noticed a slight difference in the x-ray taken in May and the one taken today. In my "bone matrix" (the bone itself) there are supposed to be two colors bright white which is the bone and then a little darker color in the middle of the bone which is where bone marrow is found. In my x-ray I had 3 colors. Right in the middle of my shin in the location where the bone marrow is located is a dark spot. This is often how leukemia is first detected. So this week I will go for a battery of tests to determine if this spot in my bone marrow is in fact cancer.
I know a lot has happened over the last couple of weeks so I thank all of my friends and family for being patient with me while I recollect my thoughts and start moving on again. I do ask that everyone who reads this blog to keep me in their thoughts and prayers until next week when I get the final results from Dr. Raines. Before then I go see my infectious disease doctor on Monday so I will post the results from her then.
16 August 2006
Stuck...
It seems as if I have done nothing but sit in the bedroom and just listen to Without You over and over and over again. I am stuck.
I met with Matt's mom and roommate this morning and after the meeting I took some clothes over to the funeral home for him. Not sure if there is going to be a "service" or just a visitation and then his family and close friends take his ashes and spread them. Matt was very fortunate that his family loved, and supported him even through the HIV and AIDS. Tonight I celebrate his life.
I met with Matt's mom and roommate this morning and after the meeting I took some clothes over to the funeral home for him. Not sure if there is going to be a "service" or just a visitation and then his family and close friends take his ashes and spread them. Matt was very fortunate that his family loved, and supported him even through the HIV and AIDS. Tonight I celebrate his life.
15 August 2006
I'm Furious
I am furious that this pandemic has been allowed to go on as long as it has. I am furious that I have buried my friends so that drug companies can continue to makes millions of dollars off of AIDS patients. I am furious that we are spending money to send soldiers to invade soverign nations while we actually have a problem here at home called AIDS. I am furious that people are under the assumption that just because you take medicine that will automatically extend your life 20+ years. I am furious that AIDS has to be a part of our daily life. I am furious that we live in a world where AIDS is not the fore front of the media because it can be "controlled." Well guess what if people are still dying of AIDS everyday, every 12 seconds, then IT IS NOT BEING CONTROLLED.
I am furious of the complacancy that soceity has taken in regards to AIDS. I am furious of hearing people constantly bitch about AIDS but yet doing nothing but making noise and not doing anything to help the problem. I am furious because society DOESN'T FUCKING CARE THAT PEOPLE INCLUDING MY FRIENDS ARE STILL DYING OF AIDS AND THIS IS 2006! I am furious that we can waste money to send people into space but cannot use the extra money to find a cure or at bear minimum a vaccine.
Fuck society. I still care. And for all of you in the world who care and don't do anything...stop bitching and complaning and actually do something
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Ghandi
I am furious of the complacancy that soceity has taken in regards to AIDS. I am furious of hearing people constantly bitch about AIDS but yet doing nothing but making noise and not doing anything to help the problem. I am furious because society DOESN'T FUCKING CARE THAT PEOPLE INCLUDING MY FRIENDS ARE STILL DYING OF AIDS AND THIS IS 2006! I am furious that we can waste money to send people into space but cannot use the extra money to find a cure or at bear minimum a vaccine.
Fuck society. I still care. And for all of you in the world who care and don't do anything...stop bitching and complaning and actually do something
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Ghandi
Without You
This Blog Posting is dedicated to my friend Matt who passed today from AIDS Related Complications. Matt was 28, diagnosed in 1999. He was 5'10, 145 pounds, brown hair with brown eyes.
Matt may you rest in peace in...
a place where AIDS was just a dream.
a place where the only cocktail is the one you're sipping on the beach.
a place where you don't worry about getting sick anymore.
a place where you don't have to worry in fear about disclosure.
I will miss your e-mails, I will miss your calls, but most of all I already miss the fabulousness that is you!
A song from my favorite musical RENT.
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
The world revives, Colors renew, But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.
Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath.The mind churns!
The mind churns! The heart yearns! The heart yearns! The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.'Cause I die, without you. Without you. Without you. Without you
Matt may you rest in peace in...
a place where AIDS was just a dream.
a place where the only cocktail is the one you're sipping on the beach.
a place where you don't worry about getting sick anymore.
a place where you don't have to worry in fear about disclosure.
I will miss your e-mails, I will miss your calls, but most of all I already miss the fabulousness that is you!
A song from my favorite musical RENT.
Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.
Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.
The world revives, Colors renew, But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.
Without you. Without you the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walks, the lungs breath.The mind churns!
The mind churns! The heart yearns! The heart yearns! The tears dry, without you.
Life goes on, but I'm gone.'Cause I die, without you. Without you. Without you. Without you
09 August 2006
Hepatology Update
So Dr. Frieda Millhouse-Jones yesterday came to the same conclusion that many other specalists in my medical team have. I am an enigma. Her words...not mine. So she did some scans of my liver and drew a new set of labs. All the labs came back normal, with the exception of my liver. She sent the film to a radiologist for "further review". I go tomorrow for an ultrasound and then I go to see Dr. Millhouse-Jones at 2:30 for the final verdict on my testing.
Right now I am just suffering from MAJOR fatigue. I slept most of the day yesterday with the exception of getting up for dinner. After that I got home and slept some more and was called into work. I dealt with a few patients and literally just fell asleep on a hosptial bed and woke up this morning, having missed two pages. However, they knew of my condition so I was excused.
There is at this point in time no logical explanation for my extreme fatigue. To try and put in words how tired I am I offer this: I am to tired to even go to HOEDOWNS! Those who know me best know that if I am too tired to even go to Hoedowns than something is going on. Maybe tomorrow we will have more answers.
I do want to offer my extreme thanks and gratitude to everyone who has sent me e-mails and instant messages with good thoughts and prayers for well being. It really means a lot and as strange as it sounds I can certainly feel the good vibes that are being sent my way from my readers and friends across the country. Thanks guys. You all have a special place in my heart.
Right now I am just suffering from MAJOR fatigue. I slept most of the day yesterday with the exception of getting up for dinner. After that I got home and slept some more and was called into work. I dealt with a few patients and literally just fell asleep on a hosptial bed and woke up this morning, having missed two pages. However, they knew of my condition so I was excused.
There is at this point in time no logical explanation for my extreme fatigue. To try and put in words how tired I am I offer this: I am to tired to even go to HOEDOWNS! Those who know me best know that if I am too tired to even go to Hoedowns than something is going on. Maybe tomorrow we will have more answers.
I do want to offer my extreme thanks and gratitude to everyone who has sent me e-mails and instant messages with good thoughts and prayers for well being. It really means a lot and as strange as it sounds I can certainly feel the good vibes that are being sent my way from my readers and friends across the country. Thanks guys. You all have a special place in my heart.
07 August 2006
Continuing Saga of AIDS Boy
Well yet another ARC (AIDS Related Complication) to add to the list is liver malfunction. So I went to my new PCP last week because I was coughing up my lung (big surpirse I know) and come to find out thankfully it was just bronchitis (yet another shocker) and not pneumonia. Since I was a new patient she went ahead and drew baseline labs for me. Nothing remarkable really except the fact that my liver is dying.
Liver functions are measured by enzymes called AST and ALT.
AST stands for Aspartate aminotransferase
ALT is Alanine Aminotransferase
Low levels of AST and ALT are normally found in the blood. When body tissue or an organ such as the heart or liver is diseased or damaged, additional AST/ALT is released into the bloodstream. The amount of AST/ALT in the blood is directly related to the extent of the tissue or organ damage.
Normal levels for AST is 0-40. MINE IS AT 415
Normal levels for ALT is 0-55. MINE IS AT 262.
So if the amount of AST/ALT in the blood is directly related to the amount of liver damage I have then I am completely screwed. Is it possible to go ahead and get on the transplant list?
It is just another system that is failing and I am ABSOLUTELY POWERLESS against it. First it was my lungs now it's my liver.
I'm tired.
Liver functions are measured by enzymes called AST and ALT.
AST stands for Aspartate aminotransferase
ALT is Alanine Aminotransferase
Low levels of AST and ALT are normally found in the blood. When body tissue or an organ such as the heart or liver is diseased or damaged, additional AST/ALT is released into the bloodstream. The amount of AST/ALT in the blood is directly related to the extent of the tissue or organ damage.
Normal levels for AST is 0-40. MINE IS AT 415
Normal levels for ALT is 0-55. MINE IS AT 262.
So if the amount of AST/ALT in the blood is directly related to the amount of liver damage I have then I am completely screwed. Is it possible to go ahead and get on the transplant list?
It is just another system that is failing and I am ABSOLUTELY POWERLESS against it. First it was my lungs now it's my liver.
I'm tired.
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