15 June 2009

Why I Really Fight HIV...

Like some people there are times when I wonder about the meaning and purpose of my life. I think to this very blog. Tonight I sat down and read every single post and every comment all over again. WOW! I was a pretty bitter and angry person at times. Other times, I saw a scared little boy, afraid he was going to miss out on all life had to offer. What kept me writing? I looked back at some of your comments and have included 10 that I have received from you, my readers:

  • Anonymous said...You are very brave to be so open about your (well, ok...our disease). I am in complete isolation and "out" to nobody about it. Thanks for blogging so I feel I'm not alone.
  • Anonymous said...I admire you and thank you for your blog. I suffer from our disease in silence and isolation to avoid the shame my children would bare.
  • Anonymous said...I wish I had your courage. Your writing is inspirational. YOU are leaving your mark in the world. YOU are making a difference. Thank you.
  • Anonymous said...I am so touched by your emotions (1 Sep '06). I cried. Very very badly. I have never been so affected and moved by anyone, not even Mulan :) I have never read a blog (coz I think it's a personal "diary", even though it is meant to be read by strangers) let alone comment on one...I want to thank God for sharing your life so openly and bravely with us who need the strength, courage and direction. I will pray for all those around you too to continue to share their love and comfort with you.
  • Anonymous said...I have been reading through your posts. Thank you so much for sharing your life and struggles. I have HIV but I hvae kept it a secret from everyone and thus have isolated myself. Thank you again.
  • Anonymous said...I'm praying for you. I know I've always just been a lurker, but you have been a great source of inspiration to me.
  • Anonymous said...I was just going through blogs and stumbled upon yours. Its sadly beautiful. Its beauty is in the plain simple and honest language...
  • sally06 said...Hi James, I am a positive woman living in Italy. I have been reading just a few posts in your blog but I'm going on reading. I just write to tell you that I understand your fear to be unable to "see and live enough life"
  • Sharlene said...I am in my second year of medical school and we are in our "Skin, Blood and Lymph" section. I am learning a lot about life with HIV/AIDS from your blog. I appreciate the honesty in your posts and I thank you for helping me put life to a disease I only [currently and not even that well at this point] understand with facts and numbers. As I read your posts, I notice myself going through a wide range of emotions. This has been so enriching and educational.
  • i love what you are doing .please keep it up. `we` need to know that people care.this is my email, please keep in touch.am hiv poz.would like to meet peole like me, am female,live in africa. keep in touch ayo

You all have been such a HUGE source of support and love. When I first started this blog it was meant to keep my family and close friends updated on my health because it's easier for me to convey my thoughts and feelings in writing. What I did not know was that it would reach as far across the world as it has. I have received comments from coast to coast, Europe, Asia, Africa, from HIV positive people to negative people. This blog has been linked to medworm.com, about.aids.com, and several other blogs and websites. I never imagined that me sharing my life and personal struggles would be a source of inspiration.

Today just out of curiosity I put HIV blog into google search and it's with a humble heart I tell you my blog is #1 on the return list. The significance of that is the fact that the more someone clicks on my blog from google the more "popular" it becomes and thus moves further up the list. This of course is not a popularity contest, it's about you helping me get my story out there. I want my story, as odd as it is to me, to continue to be a source of inspiration and hope for people in the world who live in isolation and have no one else to turn to...either by choice or situation.

Thank you my loyal readers for being my inspiration and sticking by me through 5 CRAZY years. Here is to 5 more years.

Love and peace,

James